We have all been there, that sensitive stage in life where exploration and self awareness are the main themes and you start craving for independence. You think you are too big to be hanging out with your parents and you're too cool to listen to them. The only problem is that you are not really old enough to qualify as an adult but neither are you so young that you can claim to be a child. The result is a hazy stage in life where your raging hormones do not aid in your quest for clarity. Multiple battles are started that of teen against parent, teen against teen and more importantly teens against the world. But it doesn't have to be so. Parents, they might not listen to you but surely they can read. Teens, here are a few things you ought to understand:
1. They are plenty of fish in the sea.
Yes, I went straight for it. We have all heard this phrase at least once before and disrespectful as it may seem, it is true. You are young and you think that that boy you were going out with is the only sweet and sensitive boy you will meet. You think no other boy will think you are beautiful and text you every night just to tell you so. Therefore, you decide to make him a priority in your life and forget everything else including your books, I mean who needs education when you have a good looking teenage boy whose parents buy him airtime just so that he can call his girlfriend secretly, right? Honey, he's not the only boy who's going to call you beautiful and certainly he's not the only boy. Boys, you think that having the beautiful girl all your friends desire is the ultimate definition of success. Rest assured that no girl will stay with a boy who doesn't add any value in her life. And for you to add value, you must do more than just drool over girls.
2. Image matters.
We get it, you think that just because you have a shadow of a mustache and you got your first bra, you are invincible. You think you can do whatever you want, dress however you want and pretty much do as you wish. But more importantly, you think that what the world thinks of you doesn't matter. Let me introduce you to one of the biggest lies of our time, what people think of you doesn't matter. It does. Image matters, it might not be everything but it certainly is important. How you present yourself, impacts on how others will treat you. You might not be responsible for what people say about you, but you are responsible for what you give them to talk about. You want to be treated with respect, you must respect others. You want to be taken seriously, you must depict a certain level of maturity. What you project to the world, influences the kind of response you receive.
3. Friends come and go.
It might be hard to believe that your best friend might not be part of your future life, I mean you swore to be BFF's and that automatically means you shall be friends forever and ever. This leads you to believe that no matter what your friend does, it is your sworn duty to forgive, forget and go on with your blissful friendship. Your friends then end up taking advantage of you and you simply become another door mat in their lives. However, you must learn that there's such a thing as being too nice and that you can forgive and forget, but you can also let go. Your friendship should not be a blank cheque for misdeeds and neither should it be about holding on no matter what. Friendship like most things in life should be defined by actions and if your friend's actions illustrate lack of concern for your well being, it's time to say goodbye.
4. It's never too early to...
Invest. Save. Build character. Think of your health. Think of your Future. It is never too early. Most people tend to think that you can only be successful once you are 'all grown up'; you can only drive a certain type of car or you can only own a house or you can only live a certain kind of lifestyle once you are a certain age. The misconception being that success is a destination when in real sense it is a journey. You don't wake up one morning and find all your dreams have come true. You must begin from somewhere and as always the earlier the better. It is a principle that as Africans we need to learn and why not start with the younger generation. You don't wait for the cavity to set in for you to go see a dentist, go for regular checkups and you might not get the cavity in the first place; prevention is better than cure. You want to be well versed in literature, start reading today. You want to venture into business, attend a seminar. Don't put it off for when you are 'older'. You don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today.
5. Relax.
In as much as it's never too early to think about your future, you shouldn't panic if you don't have it all figured out. That might be difficult especially in this day and age of millionaires who are barely out of their teens, inventors who are yet to be come teens and trend setters who are barely out of their diapers. In the global village that the world has become it is easy to compare yourself with other teens from around the world and ask yourself, why don't I have all that or why can't I be as famous? Then comes the temptation of 'falling into bad company' for a shorter, faster and easier path with pit stops in different stations such as prostitution, theft, drugs. You need to relax and not worry too much. You can't go around comparing yourself to others. You are young, you are not expected to know or have it all figured out. However...
6. Being young is not an excuse.
It really isn't. There are things that are common sense and more importantly, common courtesy or simple respect. Being insultive. Being violent. Being inconsiderate. Acting on your emotions just because you feel like it, is simply not how the world operates. You must remember that actions have consequences.
7. Parents aren't stupid.
They really aren't. They know what they are talking about. All those warnings, all those rules and their never ending advise, it's not for nothing or voiced with the intention of annoying. They are older and have thus seen one or two things you haven't. They have made mistakes and probably don't want you repeating the same mistakes. But more importantly, they care for you and want they want the best of you. It's not for nothing.
8. You can get pregnant the first time.
This should be a well known fact by now, but it still hasn't sunk in yet. You can get pregnant the first time you have unprotected sex and what's more, he doesn't need to penetrate you, his little boys only need to come close to the goalpost. Girls, don't let a boy tell you otherwise. Boys, getting a girl pregnant shouldn't be your biggest concern, there are far worse things; sexually transmitted infections and girls need to be worried as well.
9. No one ever died of...
Abstinence. Listening to their parents. A broken heart. Studying. Not following the crowd. Thinking before acting. Being responsible. Being different.
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