While y’all were kicking it at the All African University Games, my guys and I got busy drafting commandments to live by during the entire period.
1. Thou shall not approach a lady with a volleyball jersey lest you want to date a village girl who grinds stones at a quarry. It gets worse if she is from West Africa and has a deep Igbo accent.
2. Thou shall avoid any girl you see on the football pitch especially those playing as central defenders or any other who kicks the ball across the entire pitch or one who stops such a thunderbolt shot with the chest! The worst case is if she is dorning the Arsenal 02 jersey. Guarantee; none of them are hip. They are all rural dark skins! (THIS IS THE ONLY COMMANDMENT WITH A GUARANTEE).
3. Any girl in athletics in a no-go zone..not unless you want to marry a KDF soldier (Kanjo Defence Force). She is a problem you can’t run away from.
4. Happy are those who land on light skins, who play table tennis, badminton, lawn tennis and basketball; for they shall get an urban girl devoid of all village blemish (THIS IS THE ONLY COMMANDMENT WITH A PROMISE).
5. The Commandment below is a lie.
6. The Commandment above is not true. 7. Ignore Commandment 5 and 6 but obey 1-4. They are the only Commandments that advocate ignorance and obedience in the same sentence!
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